As the new year begins I can’t help but look back on the years that have past and feel, well to be honest, a little melancholy. My birthday is less than 6 weeks away and I will be actually “in my 40’s”. Now, this sort of thing wouldn’t normally bother me however, for some reason, turning 41 has me wondering what on earth has happened to the past 20 years?!
Have I achieved all that I set out to accomplish? Were my 20’s and 30’s a roaring success? Have I ticked anything off the proverbial bucket list?
Well, when I analyse it, which believe me I have done for a couple of weeks now, I can say this: I’ve been married for 20 years this year, had a successful corporate career, started my own business (several in fact) and I had two delightfully imperfect children that I adore but more importantly I found myself. Yes folks that old cliche but in this case it is totally true, I actually woke up one day and said “Who are you and who do you want to be?! I realised I was nothing like the person I felt inside so I decided to set my path straight and to be honest, said f**k off to anyone who went against that. I began ridding myself of all and I mean all the negative people and influences in my life and for once I actually started saying what I was thinking and feeling. This is by far the most liberating thing any one person can do and I highly recommend trying it at least once. Suddenly, I began feeling free and more alive than ever before, I reached deep inside and awoke the beautiful spirituality that had been hiding there for years and that reconnection brings me to today. Now when I say spirituality that doesn’t mean I’m an enlightened, plant eating, tree hugger all of if the time, for me it simply means I am true to myself 99% of the time, because let’s face it no one is perfect!
So why has turning 41 got me so spooked? I guess you could say my own impermanence is forefront in my mind and I must remind myself daily of this fact in order to live the best life I can being the best version of me. So today I invite you to ask yourself the same question “Who are you?”.
You may already have the answer and be kicking arse as your authentic self but if you don’t and your not, ask yourself this “What can I do for me today?” and challenge yourself to make it happen. Step out of the fear holding you back, take the leap into the unknown and for one moment step into the shoes of the person you actually know you are inside.
I’m not going to lie and say this will be easy as the change will inevitably cause your fear to heighten, self doubt will kick in and you will probably feel a little lonely out there on your path by yourself. BUT! This does not last and when you have persevered, stayed strong and 100% authentically you, nothing and I mean NOTHING will feel better!